Monday, June 1, 2009

NOT THE FIRST NIGHT ( Sex on the First Night)

Monica Denise Arnold was born on October 24th, 1980 in Atlanta Georgia. She only uses her first name as her professional name so the world has come to know her as Monica. Singing rhythm and blues as well as pop Monica has established herself as a singer and songwriter, and occasional rapper and actress. Monica released her second album The Boy is Mine to huge success in 1998. In July of that year she released her second single from that album, The First Night. This song dominated the charts at number one for weeks. It actually has a very simple theme, going on a first date and being tempted to but refraining from sex or anything that may lead into that direction. Too bad that song knew more than what people over a decade don’t know.
Recently I was talking to a close friend of mine, a male friend and he told me he saw nothing wrong with having sex on the first night. When I spoke with another male friend he expressed a different view, he didn’t believe anything was wrong with a man having sex on the first night, but if a woman did then she is a slut. I really disagreed with that viewpoint since it takes two to engage in most sexual activities. To be honest I am still surprised that there are people who don’t see anything wrong with having sex so quickly. I take a bit of a Christian viewpoint and believe that sex should only be engaged in by those who are married to each other.
The first thing to consider is what does sex mean to people to be able to have it on the first night and what their bodies mean. While I have always believed that sex is the giving of one’s body to another person people these days think that it’s just a means to an orgasm. People also see nothing wrong with sharing their bodies so quickly as long as both people are on the same page. I believe that the human body is a person’s most valuable possession and if you can just share your body so feely and easily then you don’t value your body so much. I think that the best thing to do is wait, although I can’t force people to wait until marriage, but if people must engage in casual sex then they should at least wait until date number three.
Second, when you sleep with a stranger you can’t be mad at the outcome. No matter how well the first date goes people have to understand that they still don’t know the person that well. Most serious conversations about diseases and children don’t occur quite so soon. I was watching a television show recently and a woman said that people need to quit having babies with people they don’t know, then a second woman on the panel went back to clarify that statement and said people need to quit having sex with people they don’t know. I am on that same accord. Pregnancy and disease are the consequences of actions taken. While not everyone who engages in sexual acts get a disease or pregnant the rate is still too high, and then to risk it with a stranger is just stupid. I do believe that is one of the reason we have so many abortion clinics and venereal disease clinics. People believe that they can engage in risky behaviors and face no consequences.
The other day I was watching a separate show about behavior on the first date and where the man should take his date. One of the men said the casual place was too much if he wasn’t going to have sex afterwards. I want to know when did it become acceptable to pay for sex in any way. You don’t decide where to take a date based on the chances of having sex afterwards, nor do you decide it’s ok to continue dating someone because the sex was good. These two phenomenas are running rapid though. There are plenty of men who feel as though it’s okay to buy a woman an expensive meal if he is getting sex afterwards, this is simple prostitution. Whether you are trading money or some kind of goods for sexual satisfaction you and the other person are engaging in an illegal and immoral activity. A trend though that is unfortunately on the rise is that men and women feel that they need to have sex on the first night to determine if the person is worth future dates. The last time I checked sex is something that can alter and change, there are products and toys and options if the sex is bad; however, if someone has a bad personality then there is no way to change that.
The biggest reason though that all of this concerns me is because with each passing decade morals and standards have been on a steady decline. Now that it’s acceptable for people to have sex on the first date what more can happen from there? People are so worried about celebrities but not about their own lives. Until people begin to gain some morals for themselves again the country is going to remain in trouble. Individuals need to turn this issue around. There is nothing wrong with not having sex on the first night. If you are with someone who is trying to pressure you that fast then there is no telling just how morally bankrupt this individual is but one thing is for sure, that person doesn’t need to be in your life.
As a proud Southern Baptist with traditional values and conservative beliefs I think that sex is something that should be worked up to. Sec on the first night only leaves conversation to work up to not passion or love. For those who think the other person is in the wrong sex is an action that takes two people and is always better when you actually know the person you are with. Orgasms may be a great experience but so is adhering to morals and waiting so that a person can build up passion and make love with an amazing person. After all if you are busy having sex on the first night you are not getting to know more about the person’s personality, only their lack of morals and respect for themselves.

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